I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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