Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
