As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
