Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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