fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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