Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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