i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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