i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
