Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Sober January is a disaster.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
