Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
