I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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