She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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