That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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