I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
