That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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