HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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