Where did you get a picture of my penis
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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