whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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