So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
