its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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