everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize