I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
