franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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