Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
