this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
