About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
