you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
