And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
