you win again, gameday.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
