did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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