dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
