Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
