I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize