I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You ate ashes out of my bong
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
