based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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