he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
