.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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