sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
