you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Randomize