im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Please, let me fuck your mom
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
cat food counts as protein by the way
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
