Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
