Already got asked if we're dating
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize