there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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