I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My pussy is not your playground.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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