can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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