I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
His nipple licking is glorious
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