I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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