Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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