You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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