You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
