i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize