I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We were destined to go to rehab together
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
