I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
We're too hungover to prance.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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