This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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