to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
