Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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