Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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