she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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