it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
