His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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