What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize