You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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