So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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